PMS COP (2014) Review

Directed by: Bryon Blakey
Written by: Bryon Blakey
Starring: Heather Hall, Cindy Means, Elaine Jenkins, David J. Lee, Megan Dehart, Kristin Mothersbaugh

"IT'S HER TIME OF THE MONTH!"

Full Moon Streaming are currently offering a free 1 week trial if you're interested. That's right, one full week of as many movies as you can watch. For free. And there's plenty to choose from, from the expected Full Moon collection (as much PUPPET MASTER, KILLJOY and TRANCERS as you could ever hope for) to a whole slew of grindhouse and exploitation classics (ALIEN CONTAMINATION, INSEMINOID, VIOLENT CITY and THE LAST MAN ON EARTH among others) and even some newer flicks from Wizard Studios, including this gem which instantly caught my eye. I have to admit I don't usually go out of my way to check many movies this side of the new millennium but with the title, artwork and trailer I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to watch PMS COP. Plus it was free so even if it did end up sucking I wouldn't be losing anything apart from a bit of my not-so-precious time.

The good news is that it didn't suck. Quite the opposite in fact.
PMS COP is about Mary (Hall), a cop with a bit of an anger issue who has been on the night shift with her partner James for a few years. After responding to a call of a home intrusion Mary and James chase after a clown who has broken into a woman's house and raped her. After the clown knocks down James and attacks Mary, she decides that this rapist scum needs a good beating. Unfortunately the ass-kicking is caught on camera and Mary's superiors are none too happy. Mary goes to therapy for her anger problems and her therapist refers her to an experimental program which will apparently 'cure' her PMS which is causing her aggression. Unfortunately the experiment involves medication in conjunction with an implanted chip which was in a\its former life a failed military experiment. And we all know how experimental military technology turns out in these type of movies...

Long story short the experiment goes wrong (bet you didn't see that coming!) and Mary's aggression increases. Now PMS COP is on the loose and when her medical handlers try to reign her in she decides that she doesn't want to cooperate. Add in some super-strength mutation and you have an hour and a half of brutal (but strangely sexy) revenge fuelled mayhem. Officer Mary is on the beat, and watch out bad guys because it IS her time of the month.

There's nothing really new here, in case you were wondering. Science-gone-wrong, military technology, profit-hungry, unethical corporation, it's all pretty heavily explored territory. But you know what? That doesn't matter one fucking bit because it's never been done quite like this before. And for a purported budget of around $30,000 (according to IMDb) the filmmakers have done a pretty impressive job of stretching that out. The effects and gore are nicely done, it has a nice soundtrack, the pacing of the film is pretty even. The acting is a bit hit or miss but for a low budget indie effort it's actually above what I normally expect, and the titular character herself is impressively played by both Heather Hall (as pre-experiment Mary) and Cindy Means (as the PMS COP). But most of all it's entertaining and elicits the kind of feeling that I used to get from old exploitation flicks from back in the day. If I have one real criticism it's that I would have liked to have seen the mayhem spread city-wide rather than mostly in one building, but that's hardly a complaint at all. Highly recommended if you're looking for a fun modern take on classic exploitation.

MOLD! (2012) Review

Directed by: Neil Meschino
Written by: Dave Fogerson, Meil Meschino
Starring: Lawrence George, Ardis Campbell, Chris Gentile, Rick Haymes, Mike Keller, Edward X. Young

"THIS ISN'T SCIENCE... IT'S MURDER!"

Earlier this week I reviewed a movie about killer worms, creatures which are right up there in the category of 'least threatening things to make a horror movie about ever'. Surprisingly I found it to be quite an effective and well made film and probably more terrifying than it should have been. But what about mold? Could the same green fuzzy stuff that grows on your old food be successfully utilized in a horror movie? Neil Meschino's appropriately titled MOLD! is here to answer that question.

It's 1984 and the US is at the height of the Reagan era war on drugs. Somewhere inside a secret research installation a group of scientists have been working hand in hand with the military to produce a new strain of super-mold, designed to wipe out Columbia's vast coca fields. The political and military big wigs have come by to witness a demonstration of the new biological weapon but of course something goes horribly wrong and the deadly mold is unleashed. Trapped inside the facility with the mold spreading, scientists Roger (Georgie), Julia (Campbell), Dave (Gentile) and Matthew (Haymes) along with an army Colonel (Young) and Sergeant (Keller) need to figure out how to prevent themselves from becoming the deadly growth's next victims.

MOLD! is a very low budget film and as such it takes place in a limited number of small rooms, in fact the majority of the film takes place in one such room. As you might expect it's quite heavy on the talking in-between characters but luckily there is some entertaining dialogue to keep things interesting. The Colonel is by far the most stand out character and despite the overacting he delivers some of the best lines in the film. My personal favorite occurs when his cigar smoking habit is questioned. His reply? "If I could survive a knife fight with a Cambodian mountain jaguar then this little cigar ain't got a chance!" Pure gold. He also makes a number of references to other films which range from cheesy to cringeworthy.

The effects are all practical which is great but I was a little disappointed with the low level of slime in the first hour or so of the movie. I was (perhaps unfairly) expecting some STREET TRASH lever slime and splatter but there's mostly mold-caked walls and a bit of green slime. But where the film really hits its stride is in the final half hour which is full of exploding faces and buckets of blood and goo all over.
MOLD! may not have a ground breaking new concept, it may not have top-tier acting or an excellent script but what it does have in spades is entertainment value, which in all honesty is even more important. If you're looking for a fun, low budget flick then give MOLD! a chance, it may just grow on you.