EL MONSTRO DEL MAR (2010) Review

Directed by: Stuart Simpson
Written by: Stuart Simpson
Starring: Nelli Scarlet, Karli Madden, Kate Watts, Kyrie Capri, Norman Yemm

"THEY WERE TOLD NEVER TO GO INTO THE WATER. NOW THE SEA WILL RISE IN A TIDE OF BLOOD"

Sexy sirens face off against an ancient Lovecraftian sea beast!
It sounds almost too good to be true but EL MONSTRO DEL MAR is an Australian creature feature that pays homage to classic Meyer-esque exploitation and ye olde monster movies while simultaneously delivering buckets of blood and gore. Now that's a combo I can really fucking dig.

Beretta (Scarlet), Blondie (Madden) and Snowball (Watts) are three femme fatales on the run after some serious serious shit went down (it's never crystal clear exactly what happened) and a lot of blood was spilled. In a stark black and white scene reminiscent of Russ Meyer's classic FASTER PUSSYCAT the vixens wait by their broken down car until they see another vehicle coming their way. The vixens seduce the two men inside before slicing their throats and commandeering their car. Arriving at a shack by the ocean the three girls decide to lay low until the heat dies down. But if the old wheelchair-bound local Joseph (Yemm) is to be believed they might be safer trying the luck with the law. He warns them not to go in the water but they don't listen and soon they wake an ancient evil lurking deep beneath the waves. Together with 'ol Joseph and his granddaughter Hannah (Capri) the girls have to find a way to defeat the creature.

EL MONSTRO DEL MAR is a grindhouse collage constructed from bits and pieces of classic seedy Russ Meyer and 50s monster movies with a B-movie style that Roger Corman would be proud of. It's low budget and it does nothing to try and hide the fact. It's far from original but rather than holding the film back this familiarity is part of what makes it so entertaining. This isn't the kind of movie you watch for character development and intricate story arcs, this is the type of film you watch when you want to see sultry babes, low budget monsters and generous lashings of the red stuff. And it has plenty of that. Unfortunately what it also has is a lagging midsection which makes the relatively short running time (just over 70 minutes) seem a lot longer.

The movie starts off with a pretty rad introduction, some rocking music and a neat transition to color via a slit throat. It also has a nicely gory and action packed final act, but the middle waffles on for too long with unnecessary dialogue and it takes more time than it probably should before the sea beast makes an appearance. Thankfully at least a nice chunk of this slow middle is spent showing the attractive leading ladies swimming, drinking and partying, which is nice.
But apart from that there really isn't a lot to complain about. The performances aren't the greatest but then when does anybody actually care about stellar acting in a B-movie? And every now and then some of the monster's 'tentacles' may look suspiciously like sock puppets... but I found that funny rather than distracting.
It would have been nice if the girls' backstory was explained a little more (perhaps making use of that slow midsection) and there was a missed opportunity with a romance which ultimately goes nowhere, but as it stands EL MONSTRO DEL MAR is a really fun, really stylish flick. It has babes, blood and beasts and if that isn't an enjoyable combo then I don't know what is.